Category: Parent Talk
Hello one and all,
I was wondering if anyone could recommend a good book that deals with effective communication with a toddler?
I’ve read a couple, and, the first, its content did not agree with the attachment parenting style I’ve chosen to practice, and the second, I considered it rubbish the moment I read the author’s theory on sleep issue. His idea of getting a baby off to a full night sleep if the «let him cry it out method « doesn’t work is to drug him.
Needless to say, I’ve tossed the book away, and now I’m on the hunt yet again for a decent tool to aid me in my parenting journey.
I’m looking for 2 particular books: Raising a Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, and The Disciplining Book by Dr. Sears. If anyone has these in accessible format, I’m more then glad to pay for them.
Thank you in advance,
Kim
Some like the teaching of:
Dr. T. Berry Brazelton
Sorry I don't have a title of any particular book of his at the moment
a couple of links to get you started on researching him follows
http://www.brazelton-institute.com/berrybio.html
http://www.touchpoints.org/
I guess the main thing I should like to add~~
~~talk to your young child as though they understand you
Like as an adult
without the "baby talk"
Hi, I have to agree, the drugging the child seems really cruel, and I don't blame you for not supporting that method of putting a child to sleep. Since my kids are not toddlers anymore, I don't have any recent resorces. I can tell you that at this stage they are learning how to communicate, but still often get frustrated because they know what they are wanting, but can't figure out how to communicate their needs and wants. I would suggest when you are trying to talk to them and there is frustration, to kneele down on their level and look into their face so that they feel like you are listening to them, and little kids may feel threatened if adults look down upon them when communicating. So getting down on their level makes them feel confident and less threttened.
I definitely agree with the last poster here. Kids do feel threatened when towered over and getting on their level is best.
One thing I've discovered when trying to get my daughter to sleep, is that music helps. I turn on the radio for her and she falls asleep to it.
Not sure of these books, but you can maybe join the NFB parenting email lists. Maybe you can get some help out there too.
I agree with the music method. When I use to volunteer in a daycare center, the kids fell asleep more easily when I put a CD of music on for them. They especially liked Disney music.
Have you tried Bookshare.org? They have a ton of parenting books. The book I'm looking for is _Babywise.
Well, I'm not Brazelton's biggest fan. Some of what he says is pretty good, other is completely backwards, I can never figure him out. OI mean, he filled an important historical role to advance certain aspects of how we now view children, and he did a lot of good, but if you're already reading Sears, there's not a ton more you need to do accept look within yourself. I mean, a lot of what I would suggest comes from personal experience and from some of the more advanced and forward thinking things I've learned in early childhood education courses. Although the daycares haven't caught up with attachment parenting ideals, a lot of the education aimed at child care workers has, and for those into whom it really sinks in, some good should come of it. Some stratagies for good classroom control have a lot to do with attachment parenting ideals and I have found them helpful. You probably already know all of the biggies, get on their level, validate their feelings, keep trying to understand, give them words or word choices for what they are feeling, whenever possible try to redirrect from harmful behaviors, or ignore them if they are not dangerous to try and extinguish the behavior, and only after both of those have failed try deciplinary measures, and base those on realistic natural consiquinces, not punative punishments. Use big words not baby words. Explain something ten different ways, and one will usually sink in. Whenever possible talk to them as if you were talking to an adult friend, omitting of course the sexual content, potential four letter words and other very adult content. Try this, pretend that a teen parent who knows jack and squat about attachment parenting or child care has come to you with a toddler driving her crazy. Write an extremely detailed long email to her explaining what works and why, and how children think and how they have a right to be treated and how you can respect them and their rights while fulfilling their emotional needs and being realistic and their parent, not their friend. You will probably find some perspective and insight in yourself that you didn't realize was there. Good luck, and if you ever want to chat, 1 attachment parent to another, feel free to email me at heather.l.bird@gmail.com
Thanks Heather for your usual helpful respond. AP is a new concept to me, and apparently to a lot of people. It is also the most rewarding, yet sometimes exhausting way of parenting. I will make use of your email address.
Thank you again.
Kim
Drugging children to get them to go to sleep? I think this is the most disturbing thing I've heard in a long time. I'm not a parent myself as of yet, but my conscience would never let me drug anyone, let alone my own child.
Kim, did you find the discipline book?
Pipi, your daughter sounds adorable! Love her laugh...
As for the Discipline book, no, I haven't located it yet.
Take care.